New flag designs

Charlie woke up this morning to reveal he had Chicken Pox! Yipppee!
I envisaged a day(or several) of playing board games, sitting and distracting him while dabbing on baking soda paste….

But after  leaving him with his drawing pad and felts I returned to find him designing a new NZ  flag.  He has continued, all day now on to his 4th design.

There has been some discussion, in the media and around the dinner table, as there often is when an election is coming up about a new flag….

Design 1: Kiwi, Silver Fern, Southern Cross

Design 2 : No Kiwi….

Design 3: Still the Southern Cross with Silver Ferms

 

 

Mmmm, the fourth design is looking interesting too…different….

A big part of this has been a chart accompanying each design and everyone who has been here today has been asked to tick a like/dislike column and add comments and ideas.
Even in the spotty and scratchy space he is in, his imagination is on fire.  He has just had a fever for 2 days prior and this is a common thing to come out of a fever bursting with new ideas.

Very exciting and, handily destracting too….

 

 

 

 

 

Letting go of those judgements and trusting…

I heard a homeschooling parent say that they don’t mind what their child does as long as it is “productive” or  looks industrious.

This is no different to school.
 In school, adults in positions of power (Government ‘experts’) have decreed what is acceptable for a child to be learning.  

As an unschooler I have learnt the biggest lesson is to trust our kids.  When, to me, it may look as though they are “wasting time” or being unproductive I have learnt to trust that they are doing what is right for them at that time.

They have always reminded me of this over the years and I may be a slow learner myself, but I hope I have got a handle on it now.

In this way unschooling is like life.  Accepting and trusting that others are doing what they need to do on their own journey through life.  There is great freedom is letting go of judgements and accepting others. We each of us are on our own journey and there is no one else that can tell what you should be doing, for they do not know where you are down that path.

I like it that our education philosophy has parallels in real life and the big picture.

 

Market day magic….

Here is Charlie living his dream!

Yes, the favourite day of the year when he gets to have a shop and work hard in it!

This annual event with our homeschool group has become epic for Charlie.  This year he had lemonade, popcorn, three raffles and a  lucky dip!  Amazingly (as the currency was 10c) he made $40!!

There was also a cake competition, enter by both the boys.  Ollie with a chocolate cake, decorated with lavender blooms….

 

 

 

Charlie’s banana cake won first prize!

There were so many gorgeous, handmade and creative things to buy and sample.  The kids had really pulled out all the stops.

Plants, garden ornaments, biscuits, hair ties, seeds, target  practice, toys, cards, body art, nail painting….

Raffles being drawn caused great excitement!

We also have a shared lunch and a huge clothes swap.  

 

We are so lucky  to have such a close knot group of like minded friends to spent days like this with.
Creating our own mini community while the kids create their own economy and have a ball doing it….

natural learning milestones

Our life seems so normal, so natural.  I have no inclination to label us or it.  I feel as though questions about how our children learn like this are as if someone is asking us how we eat or breathe.

Just unnesscesary.
We just are.

But I remember the  uncertainty when we began.  I do.  The fear that our children would be “left behind” somehow, not know what others their age knew.
I have realised now how there is a whole set of unwritten milestones in our culture for children.

Sleeping through the night, being weaned, learning to talk, walk, ride a bike, swim, read, write….From birth there is, at times,  a competitiveness about keeping up with the pack.

Now I feel such a freedom from not even being in the pack let alone trying to live by it’s code of conduct..

Realising too that our children will set their own pace, reach their own milestones when they are ready. Most parents can cope with a baby not sitting or walking until months after it’s peers, so why not reading  at 4yrs or at 9yrs instead of 5?

I have seen children learn so easily and naturally when they are ready – be it 4 years or 14.
I just relish  seeing how happy children are in themselves and with their lives when they are left to do things at their own pace.
There is plenty said in spiritual literature about going with the flow, not resisting life.  I have felt strongly that from birth my kids knew what they needed and all I had to do was to meet their needs and help them when required. 

And still it goes on.  There is no difference to a 2 year old saying they do not want to wear something/eat something/ do something to a 12 year old knowing their own mind about what they need to do.

Going with the flow, with their flow, the path of least resistance  is always the happier route and naturally the best one to take.
There is still a lingering philosophy in our culture that life is hard, a struggle, nothing is acheived without pain, hard work, sacrifice…

Thankfully the emerging philosophy of many is that life is a joy.
Life should be fun.
That life should be filled doing the things that light your fire, your passions, the things that make you zing.

This is the very basis of what we do.
How do you teach your children to follow their bliss….?  Let them follow it from birth!  Then they don’t have to spend their adult lives trying to find out who they are, what they enjoy and what makes them tick.
The milestones are there still, but they are set by the kids themselves, not imposed by an outside authority.

So here we are following our bliss….at 10.30pm! The boys hard out wrestling for 2 hours, gloves on, martial arts moves discussed and practised.

Wayne playing the guitar while the boys roll around, dicussions of evolution interspersed with full on fighting…..

Gotta love the fact we don’t have to get up and make school lunches at 7am…
(ooops ,sorry Wayne!)

Lemonade

Charlie reads alot of comic books set in 1950’s America.  One thing he has always wanted to do , influenced by this I am sure, is have a lemonade stall.

So yesterday was the day.

With 3 others they went off foraging for lemons.
They made signs, set up a table, made heaps of lemonade, bought cups and then developed marketing strategies…..(This took about an hour)

 

Signs were re-written, put on each side of the road, wiggled at drivers….

 

 

They are keen to continue as they are raising funds for a good movie camera to make films on…

 

How is the unschooling going?

People do ask us if I am homeschooling the kids during our trip.
(I don’t mean to be picky ,but the technical term is now “Worldschooling.”)

Of course the answer is no, I am not homeschooling the kids while we travel.
No I am not making them write a journal every night, or sit and do maths equations and I am most certainly not nagging them to read a novel every night (who is carrying all the books??)
However if they mean am I answering questions not-stop as I have for 12 years now, then yes.
If they mean do I support them in their passions, then yes.
If they mean am I helping them to be the best person they can, to be happy, to show compassion, understanding and patience, well then yes I am.
If  they mean am I showing them the world…well,  the clue is in the label “worldschooling.”

Life is just same as ever really.
Except we are travelliing and visiting historical sites,

cathedrals, ruins,

castles, stately homes

and an unusually high number of tourist shops and tea rooms….

Charlie has kept tabs on all the exchange rates we have and will still use.  Over lunch today he converted between each for fun.  There has been plenty of spending going on so it’s great to see the kids getting to spend other currency and work out the denominations.

Reading timetables, bus routes, airplane departures lists, the underground map, converting time zones….all things I once wrote meaningless  unit plans for as a teacher. All things the kids are doing in context with maximum motivation.

Charlie has been watching Horrible Histories, The Pirates of the Carribean (savvy?) and listening to Steven Fry read Harry Potter on his mp3.
Ollie follows news feeds and keeps us updated on the Syrian situation, any natural disasters as well as any debate or proposed change to gun laws in the States…..
He has managed to read several Harry Potter books and many Chris Ryan (SAS) books while staying with people too.

But as usual much of the kids learning is  through conversation.
We have had some humdinger discussions while driving.  Usually this is Charlie and I.  As navigator he is in the front and keeps up a commentary…..

-Mum, it is about 5 miles to the next service
-If we take junction 15, then the A55, it should be easy to get there
-You are doing a great job Mum!  (he is a very positive  navigator and has never yelled at me once.  🙂
– This is fine this way don’t worry, actually it is probably the best way (see what I mean…?)
– OK turn left onto the B6318….yes this one, here…..good …..

Then when we have been somewhere that has sparked questions for him directions are interspersed  and added to the mix.  These have caused several unplanned routes for us as I seem unable to concentrate on English roads while remembering random facts I studied 20 years ago!
So it goes more like…._
-But how did Henry the 8th just make up a whole new church?
-About 2 miles until our turn-off Mum
-Why did the locals not use the Roman baths after the Romans left?
– Yes here, stay on the M5….left lane…..
– So was King Arthur actually real then?

Grappling to understand the reasons why humans have gone to war, have burnt and tortured ‘witches’  and condemned each other for their differing beliefs has at times been belittled.
Mainly this is due to more pressing things like navigating huge trucks and a myraid of road options off a massive round-a-bout.
But mostly because a 9 year old looks so perplexed and just asks “why?”
Indeed.

And so our worldschooling continues.

Silver lining camping

The weekend we left NZ, way back 4 months ago, our very good friends around the corner made the decision to return to the UK after over 5 years of being Kiwis.
These guys provide not only Charlie’s best mate, Henry, but also much inspiration for adventuring.  I think of them as some of my “Huckleberry friends” (from that line in the song Moon River).  Friends who are always up for a picnic, a camp, an adventure of any sort.  So you can imagine how sad we were when I heard via skype,  of their intentions.
But every cloud has a sliver lining.
The gods of selling houses, furniture  and packing up  were in top form working smoothly with them safely to  blighty’s shores while we were still here.
Thanks goodness.

In the midst of trying to buy a car, a house & a new life….they managed to come camping with us and we spent maximum time together, especially for the boys to play.  We stayed in a great camp with a coast, forest, large rocks, a cave and a gang of other boys.  (South of the Lake District, Northern Lancashire).

I will hardly mention the weather…only a couple of hours of rain the whole three days!!

We explored nearby Cartmel, a gorgeous old village with an equally old Priory where we had a tour.

Ollie volunteered to dress up as a monk. Bless him.

We had some great walks including the Fairy steps.

Walking up the narrow coffin route on carved stone steps was a challenge – if you could do it without touching the sides you would see a Fairy at the top though.

Instead of fairies there was a tree that had coins wedged into it’s trunk.  the kids all thought this was something to do with fairies and whipped out pocket knives to add their own coins.

Did I mention that we also play music together too??

We walked up hills and around a lake.

We pigged-out on blackberries which grow everywhere….the kids even fed them to these horses….

Ambled down country lanes (more blackberries)….

And enjoyed this view from our camp.  We laughed, played games, cooked amazing meals with the absolute minimum of (borrowed) camping gear and made plans for future adventures….

Getting that foot tapping again…

Charlie has started busking again, after lugging his banjolele around the world…

He really loved it, said he has missed it.   People here were certainly very taken with his playing as they are back home.  It brought  a smile to faces, set toes tapping and  those who enjoy a bit of Johnny Cash stood and watched while they sang along!

After just half an hour he made 34 pounds, which with the very favourable exchange rate is a decent hunk of the dog he is going to buy on our return!

Along with gathering the funds we have been hanging out with dogs as much as possible all in the name of research…In Devon Charlie was lucky enough to get to  take the lovely “Lolly” out and about, a good test to see if it is true what they say about Spaniels….It is!  She has an in exhaustible amount of energy!

Perfect for Charlie really.  She was just adorable and totally happy to come off wth us, Her owners were very generous too.

 

Charlie got the whole experience from doggy bags to bathing!

A Cumbrian chapter

With four days of camping enthusiastically booked in The Lake District we set off up the M5.  Our new car, now named Wanda, humming along, Charlie in charge of the map and telling me where every speed camera was and how far to the next  services.  He loves measuring in all it’s forms and this  teamed with his quick thinking means he is the perfect navgator!  The sun was out and the borrowed Cat Stevens CD playing.
An hour later  it was pouring with rain.

We decided to call in to Leyland, north of Manchester where some great friends (in NZ) are returning to live very shortly.  I thought we could give the town a look over, see what the attraction is…,
As they say “long story short” we invited ourselves to have a cup of tea with the parents of the aforementioned friends and ended up gratefully staying the night in warm, dry and very  cosy beds…

The following night we were in the Lake District and managed a night in a YHA in Hawkshead and the rain stopped during the evening.    Through the glistening branches we could see the wonderous Lake district reveal itself…

Ambleside was much loved by me.  All those boutiquey outdoor shops where I tried to stop myself buying clothing, the tiny and picturesque streets filled with fantastic shops and the very welcome hot chocolates weren’t half bad either…It was drizzling though so the only photo is a quick one in the church (by the funky cinema).

This is Beatrice Potter country, quite a variety of homes, galleries and tourist attractions to visit…if you are keen, which my boys made it abundantly clear they were not!

Still this gave us more time to explore  Grizedale Forest where we happened upon several stange and quirky sculptures  on the many forest trails.

Including giant keys seemingly running right through great trees, which when turned vigorously enough would produce erie and beautiful fairy music, perfectly fitting for the setting.

The thing that travelling does is gives me the opportunity to remember that everyone is different and given the same experience  each person will take something unique away that is relevant to them at that time.

Hence for Charlie, buying a couple of bags of duck food provided  much entertainment as he just loves to feed ducks.

Here at Lake Conniston and again on Lake Windermere from our camp at Low Wray he had a ball, like a pig in clover.

Meanwhile I was very happy to wallow in the history of other famous ex-residents including John Ruskin (this was his view, lucky sod).

No ducks here, but Charlie was very happy to whizz around filling in a kids quiz, while I browsed and absorbed…

And I visited Rydal Mount the main home of William Wordsworth.

No quiz this time….I had to resort to carrying chocolate bars and mandarins for Charlie, while Ollie stayed and read Harry Potter in the car.
Needs must.

Visiting CastleRigg Stone Circle was cool, in every sense of the word.  There is absolutely no justice done to the beauty of the site from these photos.  A stunning hilltop with mountains arranged in a great circle of their own all around.

Keswick conspired against us as two of the three  unusual museums  there were shut or had moved away.  Instead we were treated to a summer festival in the main town, a stage with local bands playing seemed strangley familiar….then when we heard the strains of Johnny Cash (on ukulele no less!!) it was as though they were playing it just for us.

Yes it could have been drier.

And we could have stay for longer.  But we came, we wore all our thermals, gave our rain jackets a jolly good airing out and once we got used to driving on such narrow lanes, we whizzed around and saw a taster of what I will look forward to seeing next time I return, on a walking holiday, with room in my pack for a few new articles of outdoor clothing.
And  no bribes needed.

Some strong unschooling words

I have copied this from Dayna Martin’s blog, The sparkling Martins.

Radical Unschooling is NOT Permissive Parenting

Posted: 21 Apr 2013 08:22 AM PDT

Over the years, Radical Unschooling has been mistaken for “permissive parenting,” and many judgments have been made about it based on this misbelief. The truth is, Radical Unschooling is an extension of Attachment Parenting philosophy and is a very hands-on, involved approach based on connection, rather than control. The philosophy is about being a child’s partner and focusing on their true needs and helping them get what they want in life through partnership and love, rather than the traditional focus on training a child through behavior modification to meet the parents needs for compliance and obedience.

Radical Unschooling honors the child’s needs just as much as the parents, and a side effect of that is that children grow up learning that everyone’s needs matter equally, not just those in power. After all, children learn what they live!

Most people do not know of any other options, other than control. The only other “logical” thing they know is what our collective culture knows, is that it is being hands-off, or permissive if we are not punishing, or controlling behavior of our children. They view anything other than traditional parenting as neglectful, or lazy, because they have never learned another way. The “experts and authorities” in our culture have done a very good job at selling people the need to be controlled, themselves.

Those raised in an authoritarian paradigm were told that it was all “necessary,” and done for our “own good” and that it was done “out of love.” It was confusing to be trained to meet the adults needs around us. Our behavior was all that mattered and having negative intent assumed from us chipped away at our self-esteem. Being told that power and force was necessary and without it we were not loved or cared for, is one of our cultures biggest lies and one that has been spoon-fed to us for generations. It has become a collective belief.

Our culture indirectly tells us that being nice and respecting children is neglectful and lazy. People do not realize how brainwashed they have been to believe this message! They also do not see that this lie has been passed down for so long, because of the mental anguish it would cause us all if we didn’t buy into this idea. People aren’t ready to see that the disrespect and mistreatment wasn’t necessary for their “own good.” People do not want to face the truth, because it won’t allow them to go on controlling, punishing and training their children any longer and it will force them to finally validate the inner knowing of injustice that was prevalent in their own upbringing and do something different and dare I say, better.

Radical Unschooling is not easy, nor is is lazy. It takes time and effort to find ways to meet the needs of everyone in the family and respect everyone equally! It takes listening, problem solving and critical thinking. It takes patience, understanding and discussion. Some people in our culture don’t want things to change and evolve, because they still want to force others to meet their needs, rather than taking the responsibility to meet their own. They will be very resistant to honoring the basic human rights of children. They desperately want to hold on to an authoritarian paradigm because without it, they need to step up and take full responsibility for their own needs being met. Many will still choose the easy road, of forcing children to obey them, but it is not without dyer consequences to their relationship and connection.

Ignorance is comfortable and easy. Facing the truth causes great pain to our culture, but it is here and staring us all in the face. Children’s rights are next on the human rights agenda and it is happening, right before your eyes.

So many of us are saying, Radical Unschooling is not permissive parenting! It is not lazy, abusive or hands-off. This lie can not be passed down any longer, because an uprising is happening and children and teens are seeing the option for kindness and respect themselves through the eyes of others being raised with more respect and human rights. You can’t repress a conscious, aware generation. The lie can’t survive in a culture that isn’t buying into it anymore.

In the above diagram, you can see where Unschooling falls in the “Compass of Parenting.” I hope this helps you see that there is a lot our culture has yet to learn and those of us walking a path of loving and respecting our children as humans beings and not property. It is truly raising the bar on so many levels, and many people aren’t ready for it yet, but awareness can’t be stopped. We are here to share the truth and open the door for understanding a more respectful, peaceful way to treat children that is modelling and creating more peace, love and connection with the world.

Are you ready?!